


Hazelnuts and Powdered Sugar

by changkyunnie, honeysthighs



Category: Monsta X
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Cute, First angst, Fluff, Kihyun - Freeform, M/M, Sad, Self Harm, Suicide, changki, changkyun - Freeform, domestic AU, skip the rest to avoid spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changkyunnie/pseuds/changkyunnie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysthighs/pseuds/honeysthighs
Summary: Kihyun is making breakfast for him and his boyfriend Changkyun.





	Hazelnuts and Powdered Sugar

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first angst, so sorry if it's horrible

Kihyun leaned away from the counter, stretching his back that had become sore from being bent over, mixing the batter for the breakfast he was preparing.

A smile pulled at his lips at the thought of his boyfriend cuddled up warmly in their bed upstairs, surrounded by the plush softness of the duvet. Kihyun had wanted to wake up the sleeping boy in order to enjoy cooking together on the warm sunday morning, although he couldn't bring himself to disturb the beautiful image he was faced with.

Soft bangs hanging in his face, the ends of the strands tickling his scarred cheeks. The light from the window illuminated his boyfriend perfectly, casting shadows along his jawline. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, causing Kihyun's own to tighten with a feeling of admiration for the boy.

He looked so vulnerable as he slept, unaware of his surroundings, and simply not caring. Kihyun couldn't help but think that even though he was asleep and looking somewhat unguarded, he also looked strong. Like he could snap his eyes open in a second and protect the smaller from any impending danger.

He truly was beautiful.

  
Kihyun expertly poured a thin layer of batter onto the pan sitting on the stove, tilting it in a circular motion in order to get the mixture into a thin, even layer that would be easy to flip.

By the time he'd successfully filled, plated, and garnished three crepes, he heard the soft pitter-patter of sleepy footsteps making their way down the stairs. The sound reminded Kihyun of the night before, snuggling in bed with Changkyun as the younger was quickly succumbing to sleep after a hard day at work. The subtle rain tapping on the window of their bedroom lulling them both to rest.

The footsteps sounded closer, and Kihyun soon felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist from behind. Changkyun pressed his body against Kihyun's back, letting his chin rest against his shoulder and his breath fan across the olders neck as he breathed out.

"Good morning," he said placing a soft kiss on Kihyuns neck, his voice deeper than usual, gravely from sleep.

Kihyun tilted his head back so he could see the love of his life more clearly, "Good morning, beautiful," he said back, kissing Changkyun on the lips this time, and smiling at the slight blush that had crept up his neck and dusted his cheeks at the compliment he'd given him.

Kihyun turned back to the stove and continued his work, pouring the batter, waiting, spreading Nutella on the finished pastries, putting them on a plate, and finally, sprinkling them with powdered sugar.

Changkyun kept his arms around his husband, placing small kisses at the base of his neck, marvelling when he received a slight shiver in return.

Kihyun loved the feeling of his husband wrapped around him, showering him with chaste pecks. He loved the warmth of the youngers larger, muscled frame around his own, smaller, less noticeably toned body. The way the other seemed to hover over him, almost swallowing him into his chest, as if protecting him from some kind of unforeseen danger made him feel just how much he was loved.

While Kihyun was flipping another crepe, Changkyun looked to his left, and seeing that the Nutella jar was open moved to dip his finger into it. Before he could, Kihyun slapped his hand away with a small smile.

"Don't stick your fingers in the jar," he said, "you'll make a mess." With a smile matching the boy in his arms, Changkyun ignored the warning and stuck his finger into the jar, bringing the dollop of dark chocolate spread into his mouth and sucking it off.

Kihyun smiled wider when he turned off the heat on the stove and turned to face his husband, who was displaying his chocolate covered teeth with his own smile.

"Ew, no gross," Kihyun said as he moved back, escaping the kiss his husband was leaning in to give him. "Gross?" Changkyun teased, pulling him closer by the waist, "but you love Nutella," and this time he succeeded in placing another soft kiss against the olders lips, the latter humming shortly after they parted.

"I told you so," Kihyun said as he started walking towards the table, food in tow. "Told me what?" Changkyun asked, leaning against the counter while crossing his arms in front of him and puckering his lips as if he was deep in thought. Kihyun couldn't resist the plump, pink cushions, and placed another quick peck on them as he passed to retrieve the milk from the fridge beside the younger. "I told you you'd make a mess," he said, "you've got Nutella on the back of your hand," he giggled, pointing in the boys direction.

Changkyun untangled his arms from each other so he could better inspect the area in question, chuckling softly as he found some chocolate smeared across his knuckles from the edge of the jar. He took a step towards the table where Kihyun was waiting and leaned down so that they were the same height.

Changkyun looked Kihyun right in the eyes, smirked, and wiped his knuckle softly against the tip of the shorters nose, leaving behind a small streak of chocolate spread.

Kihyun jumped up from his seat, surprised at the action but immediately bursting into a great fit of laughter. Changkyun soon following, the other boys joy contagious. Kihyun placed his hands on the base of Changkyun's neck and pulled him in for a kiss, making sure their noses came in contact, resulting in them both having chocolate smeared on their noses. This made them laugh harder when they pulled apart, sitting down at the table so they could finally begin their meal.

"Thank you for all of this," Changkyun had said while reaching to interlock their fingers, "I love you." He said, his face radiating his ever lasting beauty, and a sense of truth that Kihyun knew came with the words he'd just said.

Kihyun was hesitant at first, this was the first time either one of them had said they loved the other. "I-I love you to." He smiled, feeding his boyfriend a bite of his crepe as Changkyun squeezed his hand just a little bit tighter, smiling even wider as he reached into his pocket to bring out a small velvet box.

"Don't worry," he said, noticing the way Kihyun's face had changed from happy to worried. "I'm not proposing. Not yet at least," he added with a small wink as he continued, "they're promise rings. One for me and one for you," he said, placing one on his finger and holding the other identical one out so he could slip it onto Kihyun's.

"Kihyun," he started, "I know that this is the first time you've herd me say I love you, but this is not the first time that I have said it. I whisper it to myself every time you leave the room. When you're cuddled in my arms late at night as I kiss your forehead, and when you have your headphones on, too engrossed in your work to pay attention to the outside world. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, so please, Ki, will you promise to be with me forever?" He asked finally, tears brimming his eyes.

Kihyun shook his head violently, saying "yes, yes! Of course! I love you too, I love you so so much!" Over and over again as his tears flow freely, unable to hide the immense amount of emotions he was feeling. "I promise," Kihyun said, reading what had been etched onto the inside of the ring's band. Changkyun wiped his eyes as he tried to put the gem encrusted ring onto the shaking boy's powered sugar covered finger, finally marking him as his own.

 

Kihyun looks down at his hands and realized that they're covered in tears. He looks up, expecting to come in contact with the bright, charismatic boy and apologize for being over dramatic. What he is faced with instead is the colour black, and a fading image of the boy he loved so dearly. The image turning instead into his hallow reflection in a half cracked bathroom mirror.

He wipes his face and uses a tissue to clean himself up as much as possible, before returning to his pew. When he walks back down the isle towards his seat, he sees that people are lining up to say one final thing to the man they all cherished.

Kihyun is the last to go up, having to take some time to gather his bearings and face the man he loved. No, loves.

Kihyun slowly ascends the three steps leading up to the final resting place of his boyfriend. He looks at him one last time, the soft bangs hanging in his face again, he pushes them to the side out of his closed eyes. The scars on his cheeks no longer the only ones painting his body. Kihyun was grateful for the fact that tuxedos had long sleeves, wanting nothing more than to protect his baby from the judgmental eyes of others. He made sure that they had laid him with the backs of his hands up, not wanting to risk a slip of the sleeve.

Kihyun looks over the boy from top to bottom once, resting on his face and taking a deep breath in, then exhaling slowly. He removed the ring from his finger for the first time since his boyfriend had haphazardly pushed it onto him. Once it was off, he rolled it back in forth between his thumb and index fingers. Kihyun tilted his head back as the tears began to come again, he leaned forward and delicately placed the ring beside his boyfriend in the coffin.

"I'm so sorry," he said finally, his voice cracking as he tried his best to hold back the sobs that were threatening to rack through his body.

He returned to his seat, someone he couldn't see through the tears that were rolling off his cheeks and leaving a path on the ground behind him helping to keep him steady on his weak legs.

When he got home he walked into the kitchen. He stopped, frozen in his tracks as he spotted a small piece of paper next to the Nutella on his shelf. He shuffled slowly, not sure if his legs were strong enough to support him. When he reached the shelf, he picked up the paper, it was shaking forcefully from his nerves.

Kihyun collapsed, grief and exhaustion taking over as he laid on the floor. A small puddle was forming on the ground next to him as he clenched the note to his chest. He could hold back any longer as loud, drawn out cries ripped through his chest and throat, freeing themselves into the emptiness of his home.

Kihyun continued to cry heavily everyday until the pain lessened and he only cried a couple times a month, never forgetting what was written on that note.

_'I promise'_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments are appreciated. You can check out my other works too :)


End file.
